Ditch the All-or-Nothing Attitude

by Caitlin Boyle
November 10, 2011

Featured from Caitlin Boyle

As this month's guest editor, Caitlin Boyle shares her personal stories and helpful tips on finding healthy balance in your life.

Get To Know Caitlin Boyle

 

 

Healthy Eating Shortcuts That Save Time – And Your Sanity

Nutrition

 

Cures for 'Bad' Runs: Why Some Workouts Seem Harder Than Others

Fitness

I only had three miles to go, and I was fading fast. The annual Miracle Miles 15K in Orlando, Florida was one of my favorite races, but with every pounding step I took, I couldn't help but curse the event. It was hot, I was crabby and tired, and my goal of crushing my personal record by five minutes was clearly not going to happen. All I wanted to do was sit down on the curb and quit.

When the race was finally over, I slipped into my car and buried my head in my hands, tears leaking out between my fingertips. "I'm terrible!" I moaned to my husband. "I totally blew it, I'm such a failure, all that training—wasted!"

When the shock of such a disappointing finish wore off a few days later, I grew ashamed of my negative attitude and woe-is-me behavior. When the going got tough, I fell into the All or Nothing trap. My perfectionist tendencies got the best of me, and instead of working hard to do the best I could that day, I mentally and physically gave up.

The All or Nothing attitude is the reason that many people struggle to stay motivated—not just on race day, but every day. We'll eat perfectly healthy or exercise regularly for a period of time…until a stressful day or vacation. By striving for perfection, you're setting yourself up to fail. Either you'll be unforgiving when you slip up, as I was during the 15K, or you'll eventually rebel against your restrictive lifestyle and find your butt permanently glued to the couch.

Here's how you can ditch the All or Nothing attitude: adopt a more forgiving and realistic outlook, and stay healthy, balanced, and focused over the long haul.

Set Health-Centered Goals: Many of our "health goals" are actually rooted in physical appearances — we wish to lose weight or tone up. While these appearance-based goals are initially motivating, the enthusiasm tends to wear off quickly, and it's far too easy to feel like a failure if the scale doesn't budge. Also, we tend to rely on quick, restrictive, or even unhealthy fixes for appearance-based goals—like crazy fad diets. For a more positive, long-lasting source of motivation, set health-centered goals, such as exercising for cardiovascular health, lifting weights to improve bone density, and eating whole, natural foods instead of gimmicky diet foods. Write your goals down and stick the list somewhere you can see—I keep my list on the fridge.

Celebrate Small Accomplishments: When I ran the 15K, all I could focus on was what I couldn't do, when I should've been focused on what I had achieved—a 9.3 mile race! After that dreadful event, I began to keep a spreadsheet detailing all my workouts so I could look over the list whenever I needed a "you can do it" boost. I write down all my activity, from long runs to gentle walks with my dog, as a reminder that small efforts really add up.  Online tools, like Daily Mile or MapMyRun, can help you keep track.

Be Realistic: Healthy living ebbs and flows. To avoid the All or Nothing trap, identify potential ebbs that may trigger a perfectionistic response. Working sixty hours this week? It's unrealistic to expect you'll hit the gym every evening. By setting a more realistic goal, like taking a fifteen-minute walking break during lunch, you'll ensure success and stay on track.

Create a Reward System: When you're experiencing a healthy living flow and achieving many small goals, reward yourself for good behavior. Too often, we don't reward, but rather punish ourselves for "bad" choices; this teaches us to associate healthy eating or exercise with negativity. Regularly reinforce positive actions by scheduling a massage, going on an active date with your significant other or friends, or buying a new workout shirt.

Swimming can be a good exercise option when injury strikes. Make sure you clear any physical activity with your doctor first.

Follow the Ten Minute Rule: Remember that something is always better than nothing. If you're not in the mood to exercise, do ten minutes of activity. After ten minutes, you'll either feel motivated to finish your workout or you can collapse happily back on the couch, knowing that you made a positive effort.

View Setbacks as Opportunities: Injuries, illness, and increased pressure at home or work can feel like a serious setback—the All or Nothing attitude demands we give in and give up. Instead, view setbacks as an opportunity for growth. Injured? Take the time to develop a new hobby or participate in another form of exercise your doctor clears, like swimming or yoga. Pressed for time? Try shorter interval workouts that challenge your body.

Find inspiration in a workout buddy. Photos uploaded to Flickr by mikebaird, some rights reserved.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others: A workout buddy is a great way to stay focused and committed. However, many people automatically compare themselves to others, feeling less than sufficient if they can't run as fast, lift as much, or fit into the same pant size. Everyone is different. And health really does come in a variety of sizes, shapes, ages, and yes, paces. A workout buddy should inspire you to be your best – not be the ruler you measure yourself against.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Yourself: The All or Nothing attitude is loudest when it's screaming, "Come on! You totally used to be able to run that fast/wear that size/accomplish that goal—what's wrong with you?" Living in the past is pointless, and you'll never get ahead by ruminating on the "should've." People change. Situations evolve. It's okay to find yourself a few steps back. Stop comparing yourself to your prior abilities and focus on what you can do right now. It's the only way to move ahead.